Rejection and its place in the creative process
Rejection is simply part of life, whether it’s via the Taylor Wessing Portrait Prize or Tinder.
When I came to the first brainstorm of topics to write about in this newsletter, the first idea I put down was rejection. At the time I was waiting to hear back from an application I’d made for a well known and highly coveted creative residency, after I’d had an unexpected call back to the second stage of interviews. After a month of waiting and imagining all the things I would do, I didn’t get it.
Creativity and rejection go hand in hand. It’s a frustrating, often difficult and constant thing that we go through, but it’s also true that rejection is simply part of life, whether it’s via the Taylor Wessing Portrait Prize or Tinder. As creatives we need to actively seek out the opportunities that may end up in rejection or failure; it’s how we learn and progress.
The problem is that most of the time, we put so much of ourselves and our souls in whatever we’re putting out there - applications for grants, project funding, residencies, competitions, putting your work for sale, up in an exhibition, whatever else - it’s almost always something that came from within us, something personal that we’re attached to, that we care about, and we can’t separate ourselves from it.
Then, when rejection comes as it often does, it’s almost impossible to not take it personally. It feels as if you, yourself, are being rejected.
We often feel like we’ve been rejected and that we’ve failed in one fell swoop, and it can really damage our mental health, motivation, or on a deep level, even our desire to create.
This isn’t really true though, that if we’ve been rejected it means we’ve failed. Our moments of rejection are not an honest indicator of our talent, our creativity or our potential.
It’s important to consider a few things. Some of these I learnt with time and experience, some I learnt from being on the other side and seeing into the process behind all this, and it’s this:
A huge part of it, more than we think, is based on luck, good timing, and the stars aligning. Opportunities will always come and go. Not all of them will be for us, even the ones we think we really want, and there will always be something else for us along our creative journeys. To be cheesy; when one door closes, another will open. Sometimes it won’t be immediate, or obvious, and sometimes we have to put in some effort and seek it out - but a rejection is never the end of the world.
And if it becomes too much, always, always take a break for as long as you need when you feel you need time away from all this. It’s perfectly alright to just surround yourself with good vibes and retreat and hibernate for a moment.
I know it sounds very “eat pray love”, but it really do be like that.
When you get that familiar, dreadful “Thank you for your submission but we are sorry to inform you…” - it’s rarely because your work isn’t good enough, or your proposal wasn’t good enough - or that you aren’t good enough - but more likely that timing and luck (and fate, if you’re a romantic) were against you. After all, the process on the other side is very much human - a tired mind, tired eyes, mood, preferences, beliefs, discriminations, bias, simple mistakes… All these things can affect decisions made.
And a quick word on that monster, social media. We see the lives of others through rose-tinted glasses thanks to social media - only really seeing the successes and good luck of others. We’re rarely honest about the bad times, the rejections and the horrible way it makes us feel, but it’s only our nature to want to protect our most vulnerable selves.
Earlier in my career, when I was younger and new to the “real world”, it often made me want to flip tables, and sometimes more drastically, find a different career completely.
I have been rejected many times, failed countless times, and only now am I learning to see the good side to these moments, slowly building confidence, enough to know my self-worth and know that this rejection is not a failure, it’s just a pause in my creative journey.
A rejection still affects me - some more than others - but if it didn’t, then it wouldn’t have been something I cared about; a lesson in only spending time on opportunities that I truly want.
The older I get, the more experience I collect, the more shit I have to deal with and overcome, and the more I see into the industry and its processes - the more I realise what the truly important things for me are. I understand more and more that there are things I can control and things I can’t, and so I stop fretting so much over the things I can’t control. Something that the current pandemic has really tested.
It’s been a freeing realisation though. It continually gives me more confidence to pursue opportunities without the anxiety of being rejected, whether that’s pouring some of my soul into an application that is statistically not likely to be chosen, speaking in public about my work and myself (this one still rattles! I’ve done a few talks now and each time I’m like, who the fuck wants to listen to me speak about my damn self?), talking money with a client, or saying no. Or piss off. I really love telling people to piss off.
I won’t write more now - I’m already over my word limit (yet again) - but what about the place of women in this? We grow up constantly rejected for the stupidest, most ridiculous things and from such a young age - we’re too ugly, too pretty, too fat, too skinny, too slutty, our voices too deep, too flirty to be serious, too bitchy, too this, too that. Perhaps this has something to do with why we struggle more with putting ourselves out there when it comes to competitions, talks, workshops, commissions, jobs… Anyway, this is something for another day.
Happy Thursday all x
End Notes
How Rejection Breeds Creativity
Today’s soundtrack
Reads
'When a woman raps, she spitting!' Megan Thee Stallion, the hot girl taking over hip-hop
“Not having a lot of people trying to give me an opinion has definitely unlocked a different level of creativity... It’s just me, reassuring myself that I like what I’m writing, and I like the beats I’m choosing. So when it comes out, it’ll be 100% Megan: 100% Megan’s opinion, 100% what Megan wants.”
A Photographer at the Ends of the Earth
“Emptiness and extremity are what I was searching for, with the firm belief that it’d kill me or transform me.”
Women photographers document lockdown
"Time has stood still for many of us, especially photographers.”
Opportunities
A note from Sirius…
“Go for a walk”
A little about me
I’m normally a portrait and documentary photographer based in south London, and enjoy telling stories about adventure, the outdoors, and our relationship with the natural world. Over the last couple of months, due to the pandemic, I’ve been making a move to something new - TBA!
Donate a strong cup of tea
If you like what you read and would like to give a little love, you can donate a much-needed cuppa. This twitchy-eyed creative will thank you for the support and the caffeine:
You can also support me for free by pressing the little heart button, sharing this newsletter with others, and telling me what you think.
Leave a comment, or you can also find me on Twitter and Instagram.