On the issue of time (and its strange behaviour)
I’m having to relearn the same lesson over and over again: Time is not running out. You are not behind.
Note: Hey friends, it’s been some time! I hope you’re all doing alright? I’m excited to be back after a long break and spending some time revisiting my plans for this newsletter. A big change is that I’ll only be writing these once a month now that work has finally picked up again, and because of some new exciting things in the pipeline 👀 . Can’t wait to share more later! In the meantime, here’s April’s read:
Time has felt so strange and different this past year. I know that doesn’t sound right; the number of minutes in an hour and hours in a day, these things don’t change. And yet, we know very well how time speeds up when we’re enjoying ourselves or slows down to an excruciating tick, tick, tick when we’re in pain or bored. I find myself regularly discombobulated when I try to think about the psychology of time and how we perceive it.
For me, it’s that there doesn’t ever seem to be enough hours in the day. They disappear just like that, and an endless to-do list doesn’t help I’m sure. But somehow, time simultaneously crawls to an almost stop some days while also slipping through my fingers. How does that even work?
I know in my head that this is ridiculous, that the reality is more opposite than I can sometimes accept, and yet the past year has only amplified and strengthened this frustrating feeling.
It’s been a constant battle between being overwhelmingly busy and, at the same time, feeling like I’ve accomplished absolutely nothing each day.
I know there’s an explanation here, something to do with rarely leaving the house and not having anything to “bookmark” the day, the month, or the past year in its entirety.
“We’re all walking around with some mild cognitive impairment,” said Mike Yassa, a neuroscientist at UC Irvine. “Based on everything we know about the brain, two of the things that are really good for it are physical activity and novelty. A thing that’s very bad for it is chronic and perpetual stress.” - Late-Stage Pandemic Is Messing With Your Brain
One thing that has made me the most anxious is a photography project. I photographed this work back in 2019 and it’s now coming up to two years since it was made. It’s my biggest project so far in terms of the number of photographs, the amount of walking I did - I literally walked the length of Spain as part of the project - and, most frustratingly, the amount of time it’s taking me to edit and finalise it as a series. It took me almost a year to even gather the motivation to look through the photographs and begin to sort them.
What I realised after a while is how the meaning of the work has changed and transformed into something new as time passes, all to the benefit of the work.
These new understandings could not have happened without each of these passing minutes, hours, days and years. And yet, I still feel behind, and I still feel like I NEED to get the work “finished” as soon as possible.
Maybe I need to forcibly remind myself and provide evidence to myself every so often - not simply looking at the list of tasks crossed through on my calendar, but actually writing down every single thing I am working on, and every achievement.
I did this recently by accident when I stress-texted a friend; I realised that I had to type out a lot and that, holy shit, I am actually working on a lot of stuff and have been for a while. So why can’t I shake this feeling?
I did notice with interest that, since I’ve started to pay more attention to my social media usage, the days I tried a “no screens” day and turned off any social media completely, time actually seemed to go slower. I guess without the constant stream of content and losing time to scrolling, I was able to “regain” some hours. You know that feeling when you wake up much too early in the morning, you look at the time with dread and bleary eyes, only to see that you’ve got hours until you actually need to be up? It was that kind of feeling.
I’ve also been trying out something new to manage my working time; time-blocking. While I have a solid calendar and project management system that I use religiously (Asana - linked below), the endless to-dos never cease and I clocked that maybe this was part of the problem.
Edit: I just came across the perfect explanation about this.
“Most of us use our calendars all wrong: we don’t schedule work; we schedule interruptions. Meetings get scheduled. Phone calls get scheduled. Doctor appointments get scheduled. You know what often doesn’t get scheduled? Real work. All those other things are distractions. Often, they’re other people’s work. But they get dedicated blocks of time and your real work becomes an orphan.” - Five Steps to Better Work-Life Balance, Backed by Science
Time-blocking has come my way a few times now through your classic “improve your workflow” articles, so I gave it a go. Since I started using it, my days feel that much more structured. Suddenly I know exactly how long I’ve been working on something, and how much time I’ve dedicated to it in the entire week - and it’s usually hours more than I was giving myself credit for.
Even so, I’m having to relearn the same lesson over and over again: Time is not running out. You are not behind. You are doing enough. And soon, you’ll be able to do more of what you’re passionate about again.
End Notes
The complete guide to time blocking
Late-Stage Pandemic Is Messing With Your Brain
Asana
Five Steps to Better Work-Life Balance, Backed by Science
Listening
Reading
In defence of SLEEP
“Our lack of sleep is a slow form of self-euthanasia.”
The therapeutic potential of photography
“It is possible to make work with people who you don’t have a shared experience with, but it will be more difficult. When making work with people, you have to think about the power dynamics of that relationship and how you navigate that.”
This year I finally learned that work alone is not enough to sustain me
The paradigm shift of the pandemic seems to have focused people on the substance of their lives – what really matters – revealing workaholism as a shabby substitute for meaning.
Doing
A little about me
I’m a portrait and documentary photographer based in south London and enjoy telling stories about adventure, the outdoors, and our relationship with the natural world.
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Thank you for this! The day before I saw this issue in my inbox I was just thinking about how time passes so fast that I never seem to have enough time for everything I need to do - and yet I'm either super busy or super bored? I've just started a new job this year that's a lot more solitary and less structured than my last one, but with lots more to keep track of, which has been a challenge. Definitely going to try time blocking!