Looking back to move forward
So here we are, finally coming towards the end of the year.
So here we are, finally coming towards the end of the year. I’d say the nights are drawing in and the cold getting colder, but it’s been a warm descent into winter this year and in three days time it’ll be winter solstice; days will start getting longer again, and the sun’ll begin to rise earlier and set later. Who knows what the new year will bring? I’m trying not to think too much about it, to be honest.
I had a whole deep post drafted for today about social media, but I thought nah, we’ve had enough of that for now.
I also thought about doing one of those “year in review” type things. I’ve never really done one before but I’m going to save that for early next year I think, when I have the mental space to think about the whole past year.
It was quite an exciting feeling to open up my folder and see that this post is newsletter number 21, to know that I’ve managed to consistently write multiple times every month since May. So instead I’m spending some time looking back to a specific moment - to my first Notes on Freelancing newsletter.
In my first ever write up, ‘Reasons to be unproductive’, I explored and talked about the importance of taking time to rest and do absolutely nothing.
Rereading this now, having not done so since I first published it, has been a lesson in looking back to move forward. In my most recent newsletter, I wrote: “even when we feel we’re going backwards, we’re still always moving forwards”. What’s also true, I’ve recognised today, is that sometimes I feel like I’m going backwards when I am actually going forwards.
There’s not been one day since I wrote that first newsletter where I’ve felt productive or motivated “enough”, and I’m constantly thinking in the back of my mind about all of things I haven’t done, whether it’s projects, admin, or life stuff like fitness. I felt like a lot of what I told myself I’d do hasn’t materialised in any substantial or meaningful way.
However, now that I’ve sat down and reread this old newsletter, I can finally see the reality - that actually, while there are some habits that have been difficult to break, I have made meaningful changes; new habits that have stuck or old habits that I’ve improved.
The most substantial change of all has been my social media usage; I’ve gone from spending precious time before bed endlessly scrolling to having my social media turned off for most of the day, and always off before I even get into bed. Nowadays I either have an audiobook on or I listen to music. I even begun rereading an old favourite book recently, and finding the motivation to read is something I’ve been struggling with for a while - I think part of that is having been so addicted to the quick and instant social media life. Having a proper bedtime routine that’s not just sitting in bed scrolling has been a big help.
I didn’t make it easy for myself though tbh, and November particularly was a hellishly hectic month. I worked on a huge relaunch of Black River (an online photographic journal I run, which I speak more about in the previous newsletter), and I did it by myself.
Now that it’s been some time from this launch comedown, it’s been great to give myself this reality check which also serves a reminder to not fixate on the bad things (and the “bad” things, the ones that aren’t as terrible as I think or aren’t really even an issue at all). A check in with myself, spending a little time writing down things I want to change or do, new habits, so that I can revisit it later on.
Now, as we go into the holiday season which, this year, comes with new and unfamiliar stresses - new guidelines and tiers and lockdowns - this is a reminder to take it slow, and maybe spend some time thinking about how things have changed for you in the last few months.
I’ll be taking a few weeks off now so you won’t hear from me again until the new year. I’ve got some exciting things planned, including a potential series of more technical advice/guide-style newsletters for the early new year.
In fact, I’d love to know what you think as you’re the ones who’ve given me your time so far!
I also want to say a huuuuuge thank you to you all, my readers! So exciting to be able to say that, but all this literally wouldn’t exist without you. So thank you for reading, for commenting, sharing, liking and all of you who got involved.
With that, I hope you all enjoy the celebrations wherever you are and have a happy new year, despite this past year!
I’ll see you all again on the other side.
Ciao! x
Listening
During my mad busy November, I found and have become obsessed with a whole new YouTube thing; lo-fi music for working to. There are countless videos, hours and hours long, of the perfect music to have in the background while working. I don’t know how many hours I clocked on these, but this one is one of my favourites.
Plus, here’s a bonus Christmas-themed one. I’m not one for Christmas music generally but I’ve really enjoyed having this on in the evening!
Reading
From rewilding to forest schools, our attitude to nature is changing for the better
“We could be on the brink of a psychological shift in the way we value the landscapes that are our shared heritage.”
Express yourself: Unlocking a new side to your creative persona
“One of the simplest and most effective ways to stimulate new ideas is to try out a new medium.”
Race shapes travel: backpacking as a black woman
Guidebooks are written with such sweeping certainty that it never occurred to me that I might find something different from what their authors had documented.
Doing
A little about me
I’m a portrait and documentary photographer based in south London and enjoy telling stories about adventure, the outdoors, and our relationship with the natural world.
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"I felt like a lot of what I told myself I’d do hasn’t materialised in any substantial or meaningful way."- I very much identified with it. But I'm happy you've looked back at what have you done and learned that you've actually done a lot! I want to say thank you, I'm very glad to get to know you and your works. Reading your newsletters (both of them!) was so much fun and inspiration, plus your journal (and participating in it- by the way I have a dream of doing something like that, for three years, now it seems more possible to me). And your photographs are beautiful. I wish you to take this time off for being super unproductive ;) but doing things you love and enjoy and just rest and take care of yourself (with the upsetting Covid 19 situation happening). Looking forward to what's coming next from you :-)